Marriage Rituals in Kayastha Samaj- Kayastha Chitragupta Kayastha

Ceremonies | Banna-Banni | Shaadi Dohay | Mehndi

Marriage Rituals

Bhaat Niyuatena	Mehandi
Teeka	Saye-ki-Mithai
Mandha (Mandhap)	Tail Charana
Marriage Ceremonies	Jaimaala
Joota Choopai	Pheras
Kangana Dori Rasam	Tani khulai
Vida	Dwar rookai
Kangana	Roohuumai
Dhol Poojan

After sagaai (engagement), the date of marriage is fixed in an auspicious mahurat (time) as advised by pandits and after consulting Janampatris. The marriage date is fixed, to every body's convenience, The boy's family, sends a list of their relatives to the girl's house. The list consist of the names of family Gods and Goddesses , names of the respected elders and the other relatives including their relation to the boy, including the relatives from boys maternal side.
This list is called farisht which is prepared in style and is written in beautiful poetry/verses.

Girl's parents, according to their budget and means, make clothes for near relatives of boy. On every pair of cloth they write small verses indicating the name and relation of the boy's relative.

Besides, they make clothes for their daughter, as many pairs as they desire and pack it beautifully and also write those beautiful poems on small slips attached to them. The same way boy's parents prepare clothes and jewellery for their prospective daughter in law.

Bhaat Niyuatena

The beginning of marriage preparations are with the ritual of Bhaat Niyuatena. On being invited by her parents or Bhai Bhabhi, the girl/boy's mother along with her husband goes to her parent's house for Bhaat Niyuatena.Taking along with her Bhaat ki Bateese.

She extends invitation to her relatives and request them to honour them by being with them in marriage ceremonies of their daughter or son. During marriage, lot of respect and care is taken of these Bhaatis (maternal uncles, aunts, and other relatives). In the earlier times the elderly people never used to go to their daughter's house (sasural). That is why the boy's barat goes to maternal grandfather's house first. There the boy stays for a little while to take their blessings. Barat takes some snacks and then proceeds to the girl's home.

After Bhaat Niyuatena, On the day before marriage there is a custom of putting mehandi (Henna) at night on the palm of bride and groom. In both the houses in their styles lot of hungama is made and gaana bajaana, dance takes place.

On this day the girl's parents sends food for 50 or more people to boy's house.This food consists of Vegetarian and Non-Vegetarian dishes, pickle, Dahi Bare, Khasta kachori, Samosa, choti puri, two types of sweets etc. A bottle of whisky is sent along with this and younger brothers, sisters and cousins accompany this to the groom's place.

On the day of marriage, girl, after taking bath in the morning, wears a pink saree and goes to the temple with her friends and sisters to worship Goddess Parvati.

After this, teeka is sent to the groom's house by the bride's family, which consists of bataashe, dry coconut, seven beedas of paan (betel) in silver plate, janam patri, invitation card, roli, rice etc. It is taken by Panditji and girls brother to the boy's home. Along with this, invitation is again extended formally to the barat.

After the ritual of teeka the girl's brother offers saat (7) Betel beera to nausha (bridegroom) to be eaten in one go. For convenience at this time, Pakwan and Badh Kihichadi is also sent to the boy's house along with Sehra Bandi.

Before and after performing all the rituals of marriage pooja is offerred.

Saye-ki-Mithai

After this the boy's family sends sweets to the girl's house. This is called Saye-ki-Mithai. Along with this, are the decorated coconut, 5 or boxes of sweets, bataashe and a Gold ring for the girl. All these things are brought by the boy's sisters, brothers and panditji. With the sweets, coconuts and dry fruits, girl's lap is filled and the girl wears the ring sent by the boy's family. In both the families Saaye ka food of kari chaawal & other dishes are prepared.

On the day of saaya the girl and boy and along with their mothers have to keep fast. In the afternoon Sawasane bring fruits and snacks.

On the day of marriage the girl and boy and their relatives keep fast in the afternoon sawasane bring Phalhaar for those who are on fast. One of the girl's uncle (mama) who will perform outer Pheras also keeps fast.

At bride's place, the bangle seller comes and put Chaubandi and chooriyan on the hands of girl and all other close female relatives. In boy's house, his mother, sister and near relatives wear it.

Mandha (Mandhap)

In center of the hall or shamiana where wedding rituals will be performed Mandha is placed at both groom's and bride's place. Panditji brings all the materials and prepares the mandha. And elders of the house like Grandpa and Tauji set the Mandha and some money as a mark of respect is given to them. All this is done as per tradition and all the while priest is chanting religious verses (Shlokas).

The boy's mother prepares the paste of Apen (paste of wet rice mixed with turmeric(haldi) The elders of the house give her some monetary gift as Neg. Sawasane (boy/girl/aunts/sisters) decorate the mandha with Apen and gheru (ruddle). And they are also entilded to Neg (some gift or money).

As per auspicious time (Mahurat) there is tradition of sprinkling oil (Tail Charana). the eldest lady of the family puts teeka on youngest daughter- in-law's forehead and gives her some gift(clothes or cash). One by one Taujis, Chachijis, Ma-injis and Bhabhijis sprinkle oil(Tail) at both places .

Near Mandha turmeric, rice, apen, ubtan, diya and in separate cups little oil and two small bundles of grass leaves tied by Kalava are kept.

The diya is burned, and the bride or bridegroom is made to sit and a pink dupatta is stretched on her\his head. Their corners is held tightly by sisters or bhuas. Some money and chooara's (date) are put on stretched dupatta. At this time kangna is tied, to the bride's left hand and feet bridegroom right hand and feet, and (stool)chowki's legs and mandha.

The oldest married lady of the house take grass small bundle in her hands, dips them in oil. Then she sprinkles oil on mandha first then from feet to knees, on hands, shoulders, cheeks and till the head. She does this seven times. After this she will leave grass in the oil bowl and then dips her finger in the ubtan, and puts the same on feet, hands and cheeks. Then she puts some Apen on kangana and ties two knots.

Tail Charana

Like this five or seven married ladies do the ritual of Tail Charana. The number is five or seven as is advised by the priest. During Tail charai ceremony songs of Taile batele is sung.

"Teek batele meh tail chadaoyeh rai champe ka tail............ (whose wife is performing the tail ceremony at that time his name is taken) ke bahu (wife)___________(the ladies name is taken)raani tail charaa yeh rai champa ka tail". After all the oil has been sprinkled, that is from toe to head reverse process in same manner is done i.e, head to feet ( head, cheek, shoulder, hand,
knee, feet)then Tail Charao Neg is given.

After this nausha, naushi (bride & bridegroom) get ready for the marriage ceremonies.

Marriage Ceremonies

They sit on Chauki and Bhaat Charai rasam is undertaken. In Bhaat from the home of Nana (bride/ groom/s mother's father) give clothes and some money to bride's/ groom's grandfather/grandmother/ chachijis, chachajis, tais, taujis, sisters, brothers, aunts, mamajis. After doing teeka give Bhaat to nausha/ naushi, mother, father and other relatives. After this naausha/naushi's mother do teeka of her relatives and give them gifts. She gives pawne ke teeyal to her brother and sister-in- law. Grandfather and tauji wearing Bhaat clothes, tie mauri and Sehra on nausha's head. Bhadhi is put around waist and chest.

At this time, taiji, chachiji, bhabhiji do Kaajal-Anjai ritual and put timakna (to avoid evil eye) on his forehead. Some gift is given to them as Kaajal Anjai. Sister's do aarti of their brother and get Neg. Elders of the family do the honour of putting nausha on the decorated mare or in the flower decked car. All the sons-in-law of the house are given Baag Murai Neg.

Barat first proceeds to his nunsaal (mother's parents home), then finally to bride's house. At the entrance, where reception of barat is done,priest performs poojan and bride's mother performs aarti on the entrance or on stage. Groom offers some neg in Aarti ka thaal which is sent to bridegroom's house.

Bride's parents arrange in advance two sets of garlands for jaimaal ritual. The stage is decorated with flowers. Jaimaala ritual is performed. In Jaimaal, bride first garlands groom amidst excitement and clapping. After this groom garlands the bride.

First outer pheras are performed as per mahurat time. The boy stands on a high object, patta or table. Then the girl's maternal uncle assists the girl taking three rounds around the boy. He breaks his fast only after this ceremony.

Before taking boy to the mandap a ritual of Pag Dhoolaye is performed by the girl's younger brother. The girl's younger brother washes his jijaji's( brother-in-law's) feet. For this, a steel jug, a utensil, jug, soap, soapbox, a towel, and plastic tub is kept ready. All these things are subsequently sent to grooms house. In Pag Dhoolie, groom gives a suit, tie, shirt, hanky and socks to his Brother-in-law.

Joota Choopai

At this time when groom takes off his shoes and socks to perform Pag Dhoolie ritual then his saalies (sister-in- laws) hide his shoes. This sweet ritual of joota choopai is performed with lots of higgling for neg money for returning shoes after pheras. Only on getting desired money they return the shoes.

After Pag Dhoolaye, priest performs pooja with girl's parents and groom. At the mahurat time girl is brought to mandap and then rituals of performing pheras is performed. There are two priests present at all times, one from groom's side and from bride's side. And all the rituals performed after chanting holy verses. Meanwhile sawasane, containing 'Chaar ki Saari' is opened (bought by groom's parents) of five sarees in this four are hanged on the four corners of mandha. The fifth saree and Gaur ki Teeyal (full saree + blouse + peticoat + hanky) is for girl's family.

Other materials in Chaar ke Saaman are five long strips of Kalava, ½ chunari, barelwa (Pink cloth), dry coconut, ladoos and mauri(head gear) for the bride.

The dry fruits and sweets are kept in the lap of the bride. In baraelwa's corner this coconuts little rice is tied. Bride wears special pheron ki saari. on top of that she wears chunari and mauri is tied on her head and she wears barelwa. One end of barelwa is held by the groom. Girl is also made to wear bichuwa and paajeb, which is sent to her by her maternal grandfather's side.

Then pheras are performed. As for tradition seven pheras are performed. Three outer and four inner rounds of the sacred fire.

In the inner pheras, boy is in the lead and girl follows him. And in the fourth phera bride takes the lead and groom follows her. After every phera when both of them sit the bride's brother who is standing behind then gives them kheel which is offered to the sacred fire. Then the pheras are resumed. The bride sits on the left side of the boy, then places are exchanged. After sitting the groom puts sindoor(vermilion) in the mang (hair parting) of his bride with his ring.

Kangana Dori Rasam

After this the kangana dori rasam is performed. Therafter Bride adorns Vida saree and groom changes to suit received from his in laws. After they both sit in the mandap and the bride's aunt and sister helps them in opening kangna.

When hand kangna are disarmed then the ring worn by the bride during saaya along with some grass, roli flower and roli is put in a large bowl filled with water. The bride and groom using their hands have to locate the ring fastest fingers first becomes the winner is applauded. This game is played seven times. After this the groom puts
the ring back in bride's finger.

Tani khulai

After this the ritual of Tani khulai is performed by the groom , in which he opens the knot of mandha's sacred cloth. The in laws give him some cash or gift as Neg for that.

Vida

After the Dhaan buai the ritual of vida approaches at the mahurat time. Everybody give pyala (cash gift) to the new son-in-law and kothali to the girl. After doing teeka to her brother the girl gets warm and heart touching send off with tears in the eyes of her close ones.

Dwar rookai

When the groom reaches his home with his bride, then all his sisters greet on the entrance for Dwar rookai. After taking the neg they allow the bride and bridegroom to enter the home.

Then the mother-in-law puts a water jug on the bride's head and performs their aarti and they enter the house. She gives a Kajlauti ki Chain (a gold chain ) to her.

Both of Groom and bride stand on chauki, in front of mandha, and all the elders and relatives of the home picks up the bride and groom one by one and dance.

The kangana tied to their feet is untied and Bhua (aunt) and sister help them do it. Again they play kangana in large bowl filled with water, grass, vermilion etc.

After this the ritual of roohuumai is performed. The elders of family make new bride sit with the boy and all relatives give some jwellery or gift and nauchawar to the newlyweds. After this paaon parai ritual is done where under the guidance of her mother-in-law she touches the feet of all the elders. The Groom's mother, through her new bahu, gives elders some gift/clothes called paaon parai.

Next day as per convenience Satya narayan ki katha is performed.

Dhol Poojan

The bride with her groom goes to her parent's place where a ritual of Dhol Poojan is performed and the girl's family sees the jwellery gifted

The girl's parents present newlyweds with a pair of clothes. The girl applies teeka to her brother and leaves for her new house. After a year of marriage the boys sister open the coconut tied in the barelwa.